I Knew that There Was Something I Was Not Feeling

I wanted to share a story with you that happened to me. I was leaving Denver to go home to Jacksonville, and I woke up in a funk. I had really weird dreams all night, and hadn’t slept well. I was feeling very tired and kind of out of it. I left the hotel and on the way to the airport and I started feeling anxious, and by the time I got to the airport I was in a full blown panic attack. One of the beautiful things that I have learned through the Journey Process is that anxiety and panic are my coping mechanisms for not feeling, (bizarre as that sounds.) So, I knew that there was something I was not feeling.

As, I started through the Security gates, and I was so panicked, I thought, I need to get to a calmer place. So I went into the bathroom chose a stall in the back, started down the layers, and was just really sobbing, I did however get to a semi-peaceful state, enough so that I could get through security. After all, I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss my flight. As I got through security, I still had this gnawing in my stomach, so, when I got to my gate, having plenty of time now, I said. “Ok, there is more, here I go into the bathroom again.” So I found a stall in the back, hung my coat and purse on the back of the stainless steel door and sat on the toilet in my clothes. I went down 2 layers, and a memory popped. So, I thought with limited time, I will just build my campfire right here, and process. Turns out I was mad at God. I was able to empty out, and we had a nice conversation, forgave each other, and I really felt the shift this time. So when I opened my eyes I looked up to get my coat, and to the right of my coat, someone had scraped GOD in the stainless door. I sat there with my mouth open staring. Then I looked further and there were three crosses below it. And shaking my head, I went, “Oh my god!!!!!”, then I just burst into laughter. Who knows was it there before?, probably, maybe not, I don’t know. But how synchronistic if it was there before, out of ALL the bathrooms in the airport, and that was the 2nd time I went into to process, I would pick that bathroom, and that stall. YES, we are truly NEVER alone. Thank you for this work.