From That Day to This I Have Had Not One Moment’s Pain in That Area of the Body

In the spring of 2003 I and my therapy practice were both in the doldrums, and I was upset with myself. After all, I was certainly helping people to come out of past trauma and live functional, reasonably happy lives; why wasn’t that enough? Out of answers, I issued a wild call to the Universe: “Help!”

Help arrived. A week later a client dropped a book into my lap: The Journey, by Brandon Bays. Ten days after that I went to the Boulder Journey Intensive weekend in equal parts hope and doubt: Is this a cult?

Made cult-savvy by painful experience, I was delighted to hear Skip Lackey, Senior Journey Practitioner for North America, tell us immediately to “take out our BS detectors.” (Mine was already out.) We were never told what to believe; facts were presented to our minds, experiences to our hearts and bodies. The conclusions were up to us.

By Sunday morning I knew this was truly extraordinary work, and my next step as a therapist. But why? The format isn’t that different from what I’ve been doing with clients for over a decade as a hypnotherapist and EMDR clinician. Yet these simple processes bring unprecedented results – freedom from the tyranny of “my story” and its devastating effects on the body, and a sense of coming Home to one Self.

The difference lies in who is running the process – and my own experience provides a sterling example. By 2003 my ulcerative colitis, a painful and sometimes lethal condition of the intestinal lining, had defied all inner and outer healing modalities for about 20 years. The hypnotherapist and I would agree to “go into” the colon to see what was going on there and ask the colon how to heal it. Or, the EMDR clinician and I would list and desensitize traumatic events which might have impacted this area of the body. But there was never anything there but a vague anxiety… and no results, over and over and over again.

In that Journey weekend, though, I was guided first to open into the vast Consciousness within – what Brandon calls Source – and then under the direction of this infinite wisdom, to my great surprise I went not to my colon, but to my heart. And there was a memory which, even more surprisingly, would never have figured on any trauma list. I was 12, spending a beautiful afternoon helping my adored father in his rose garden. Far beneath the surface, however, in that moment of oneness between us my soul tuned in to his and knew that he planned to die young. Unbeknownst to my conscious mind, my loving heart decided, “If he goes early I have to do that too.”

And so with every beat of my heart this message was being sent out to my body – and especially to the “second brain” in the gut: “Your days are numbered. There’s a sword hanging over your head. You never know when your time will come…” At my Source-fed campfire the cells opened and I poured out the grief and fear, finally separating my destiny from my father’s. Then the infinite wisdom of my Source reprogrammed the heartbeat with much a healthier message to my body. And from that day to this I have had not one moment’s pain in that area of the body.

Never could I have tracked down the deep cause of all that pain using the “my mind’s-best-guess-plus-the-therapist’s-best-guess” method. After all, I spent 20 fruitless years trying to do just that! Nor do I have any idea how, after not having worked on it at any conscious level, the anxiety that prevented me from meditating for 40 – yes, 40! – years magically left; or how an addiction to reading fiction that had kept me out of my life for over half a century quietly disappeared, no fuss, no bother. I do know, though, that my Journey clients are experiencing similar – dare I call them miracles? Except that these “miracles” are repeatable, based both on solid science and on the infinitely reliable, infinitely wise Presence in each of us.

I continue to be amazed at the physical, emotional and deep soul healing I and my clients are receiving. And I am deeply happy, seeing my world through the eyes of the Light and Oneness I now know myself to be. My greatest prayer is that you’ll join me in letting the infinite wisdom of your True Self bring you into wholeness and freedom.